Monday, March 1, 2010

Life's Ups & Downs...

"If you hear a voice within you say 'you cannot paint,' then by all means paint, and that voice will be silenced..." - Van Gogh

This quote is definitely something to live by if you are an artist of some sort, because there always comes a time when you doubt yourself, when people you trust betray you, when you think you won't succeed and when you realize you don't fit anywhere.

It's easy to get discouraged especially when you're starting out, you don't know where your strengths are necessarily and you want to be able to do different things. You want to have that eye, you want to have that focus because it seems that without them, you are just an amateur and no one who is taking their dream serious wants to be considered an amateur. In retrospect, aren't we all just amateurs?

It's easy to want to say I quit, but there will always be that pit in your stomach that weighs heavily. I try not to let that pit succumb me and it does happen. Sometimes I have to talk myself out of it and sometimes someone else has to do it for me. It seems also for me that no matter how many shots I have taken, no matter how many books I read, I still don't know enough. My photos still don't come out the way I envisioned. I do hope that in time, with more experience that they do. It also makes me realize, I still have so much to learn.

And there's where I don't feel as bad because I understand that there's still much to learn. I think on any level- amateur, serious amateur, semi-professional and professional- there is always something to learn. And if you think you've learned everything, how much more could you get from this?

That's when you toss in the towel and pick up a new hobby that could lead to a new profession.